Signs your child is excessively stressed (according to the UK’s National Health Service):
- Worrying a lot
- Feeling tense
- Complaining of having headaches and stomach pains
- Not sleeping well
- More irritable than usual
- Losing interest in food they normally enjoy or eat more food than normal
- Not enjoying activities they previously enjoyed (video games etc)
- Being negative and have a low mood
- Complaining that they’re feeling hopeless about the future
If your child is exhibiting these signs, it may be best to do a check-in. Heavy expectations of your child may lead them to be harshly critical of themselves when expectations are not met.
Research reveals that high parental educational expectations not only reduces a child’s cognitive ability but also increases their depression. Simply put, when your expectations for your child’s education are higher than their own, it can actually make them feel worse overall.
Labelled as “maladaptive perfectionism”, a study conducted by NUS on developmental trajectories in primary school children found that a child’s mindsets can be heavily influenced by “intrusive or controlling mindsets” of their parents.
General Tips
1) Talk about exam nerves
Open conversation with your child is always a good idea. Talking things out will help children soothe out their nerves and sort out expectations. By actively listening to their concerns and fears, you create a safe space for them to express themselves. This will also allow you to better understand their concerns and learn how to address them. Through these conversations, you can offer reassurance, provide guidance, and help them develop coping strategies to manage their stress effectively.
2) Take extra care of their basic needs (food, sleep, rest)
A high in fat, sugar and caffeine-containing diet can cause moodiness, irritability, and hyperactivity in your child (According to Healthub). Encourage healthy eating habits in your child, of course an occasional snack is welcomed but during exam season where heightened focus is required, healthy snacks may be a better choice.
It is important to accompany healthy eating habits with sufficient sleep and rest. Encourage regular breaks from studying to prevent burnout. Ensure that your child doesn’t sacrifice their well-needed sleep in exchange for extra study time. As we’ve established before, sleep is an imperative tool in a child’s wellbeing. By prioritising their basic needs, you help them maintain a balanced lifestyle and better cope with exam-related stress.
3) Try not to add pressure
While it’s natural to want your child to succeed, it’s important to avoid adding pressure during exam periods. Instead of focusing solely on grades and academic performance, emphasise the importance of effort, progress, and personal growth.
Encourage your child to do their best without placing unrealistic expectations or comparisons to others. By creating a supportive and nurturing environment, you empower your child to approach exams with confidence and resilience.
4) Add joy into the preparation process
Exam preparation doesn’t have to be all stress and no fun. Plan enjoyable activities for after the exam period such as family outings so your child has something to look forward to after a stressful exam period. Incorporate “rewards” after every study session, rewards do not need to be a big planned out event, they can include simple things. Such as allowing them to choose what to eat for dinner or allowing them to play one round of their favourite game or watch one episode of their favourite show.
All this to say that ultimately it is preparedness is key. Keep track of your child’s exam schedules beforehand and manage their time wisely. Less time to prepare will result in increased stress and frustration. Make sure they get an early start on exam revisions, this way you can identify areas that they need help in and reduce stress much easier!